'They' has arrived at the party, bringing zhe and zer, too

Let's face it: pronouns aren't what they used to be.

For a long time I have found it annoying when pronouns alternate throughout a piece of writing, referring to the same body sometimes as she and sometimes as he; or when they appear as the hideous hybrids (s)he, he/she and s/he. We could write more gracefully by replacing singular with plural nouns, which would agree with gender-neutral plural pronouns (thus, not "a student has his" but "students have their").

But is agreement necessary? As language catches up with culture, new pronouns have been invented to acknowledge gender-variant identities. Just as importantly, the gender-neutral plural pronoun "they" and its inflected forms, "them", "their", "themselves" (and "themself"!), are being used to refer to one person. To mark gender inclusivity, "they" has arrived at the party.

Perhaps I...