How do lawyers feel about lawyer jokes?

Q: What do you call 5,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A: A good start.

Q: You're stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun and a lawyer. You have a gun with only two bullets. What do you do?

A: Shoot the lawyer twice.

Lawyer jokes comprise one of the largest bodies of jokes in existence, long ago surpassing farmer's daughter jokes. One of the reasons is purely demographic: There are a lot more lawyers than farmers' daughters these days.

But notice anything else about those jokes? Yeah - they're harsh. Try substituting your profession, and see how you feel about dead plumbers at the bottom of the ocean or shooting editors twice for good measure.

It begs a question that sounds like a setup for another joke: Do lawyers feel pain?

Lawyers are people, too

For answers, we went to the source. We asked representatives of some of Long Island's top legal firms if lawyers have feelings - and if in fact they do, can tough jokes hurt them?

"They do have feelings," said Debra Scala, marketing director at Certilman Balin Adler & Hyman LLP in East Meadow, one of Long Island's largest law firms. "I've been defending them for 16 years. They're good people and they work hard."

In her marketing job, the subject of lawyer jokes does come up, and Scala makes this point: "Lawyers become your best friend when you're in trouble, but they're the least appreciated bunch of professionals."

One of the reasons is the billing process, which Scala termed "intangible." There's a famous lawyer joke for almost every aspect of the business, and billing is no exception:

A client almost faints when he sees the bill and demands that his lawyer itemize...