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Abstract
When you write something into the world, it becomes real. And you can see it. Face it or embrace it, whichever response is appropriate. With blue stars I wrote my fear into the world. It is a hybrid of poetry, prose, documentary investigation, erasure, and image written through the lens of my experiences as a newly minted military mother. I wrote poems about my son in workshops, I experimented with prose and collage, I curated photos and researched documents. I found relief and energy in research. It began to give comfort and blue stars took shape.
blue stars is a fusion of what I was learning with what I was living. The first Accident Investigation Board Report I found changed my life. Within the technical description of the events leading to the death of a young man I felt I knew (because motherhood is a universal state of being) I found poetry. I found beauty within the spaces of discovery, and solace in digging through the wreckage of facts. I found purpose and power in the alchemy of those facts into words that I hope will take flight.
My son was commissioned in May 2018 and reported to Undergraduate Pilot Training in July, earning his wings the following October. He continued to Pilot Initial Qualification that winter and relocated to his first base assignment in the following year. Over the course of that time, five young pilots died. One single vehicle car crash and four training accidents. The number of young men and women killed in military training incidents is ongoing. This manuscript is dedicated to all who serve and honors the commitment and memories of five young pilots.
