Triangular Trouble: A Phenomenological Exploration of Jealousy’s Archetypal Nature in Polyamorous Individuals

Abstract

Jealousy is typically understood as destructive and to be avoided. This research examined jealousy within polyamory, a relationship situation which virtually guarantees it must be dealt with openly and directly. Lived experiences of jealousy and polyamory were explored through interpretative phenomenological analysis from a depth psychological perspective. Jealousy was understood by participants normal, typical, and as an indicator of the value one places on a particular relationship. Additionally, jealousy was viewed as an opportunity to engage in self-responsibility for emotional responses. Participants experienced jealousy not only as fearful and negative but also an opportunity for creative, soulful engagement, particularly when mono-normative relationship ideals were questioned through personal introspection. Thus, a hypothesis of jealousy as a neutral, archetypal pattern is posited as jealousy is reimagined into a many-faceted experience utilizing a mythopoetic lens. Relationship exclusivity is examined as a cultural norm growing from a psychological need for a bond with one’s earliest caregiver and love object. Compersion, the feeling of joy for another’s joy and an emotion practically unnamed outside of polyamory, emerged as a key factor to integrate jealousy’s challenge to the ego’s survival instinct. The polyamorous label is a multifarious one involving a complex process of identity exploration. When polyamory is no longer monogamy’s opposite, both are re-visioned as forms of intimacy among a multitude of relationship models.

Keywords: jealousy, polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, compersion, multiple-intimacies model, relationship structure, mononormativity, envy, soul, archetype