Content area
Full Text
ABSTRACT
This article is a continuation of the article that appeared in the Spring 2008 issue of this Journal
Need fulfillment is a process which is operationalized through behaviors. Each person must meet his or her basic needs. A significant relationship is need fulfilling and expressed through the strength of the connection between mind, body and spirit. The more balanced these components, the more reflective of need fulfillment is the relationship. In order to be loving, one must love oneself. In order to love oneself, one needs to responsibly meet one's needs. In order to develop the significant relationship, one must contribute to the other's picture of significance. The relationship if it is to succeed must be need fulfilling.
Optimally, need fulfillment considers each partner. Although the process of meeting one or more needs is continuous, the relationship must fulfill each need. That is, you meet each need concurrently with the other. The personality is, in the final analysis, the method by which each person fulfills needs. According to Glasser (1998), "The personalities of some couples are different but complementary, that is, the differences enhance the relationships. But in my observation, the best marriages are ones in which the husband and wives have similar personalities" (p. 92). One of the most outward expressions of similar personalities is friendship. The most important gift is the giving of friendship. At its pinnacle, loving is a journey which leads to the destination of close friendship. According to Glasser (1995), "Close friendship is built on a lot of comfortable hugging, kissing, and caressing, talking to each other easily and enjoyably, sharing common interest, and, especially, doing things together where there is some learning and improvement"(p. 119). This friendship is both the precursor and the sustainer of significant relationships. Each of the basic needs must be fulfilled to develop a close friendship. Developing close friendships can lead to developing loving behaviors.
The objective of loving behaviors is to prepare for the moment that transforms into a significant relationship. The significant relationship is holistic. The whole relationship is both physical and spiritual. The spiritual component is operationalized in loving that is not only for this life (physical), but also for the eternal. Many are confused in the sense that they...